|Affiliation||Digievolution of a yugioh card|
GRRRAAARRRGHHH!!! *(take my cock!!!!!)*
—Charizard, blessing His disciples to grant them His fiery invincibility and invulnerability
Charizard is Pokémon #006(66) and the supreme deity of the Galarian faith. He is the Almighty Fire/Flying Lord and Savior of the Galar Region, and is the only God, while Champion Leon is His only prophet, who is undefeated and unbeatable, just as Charizard is undefeated and unbeatable. Charizard's almighty flaming tail is also of great pleasure to a certain user who is a firm believer, which makes perfect sense for Charizard brings great pleasure to everyone and His flaming tail is that which brought light to the universe.
The Gospel of CharizardEdit
Charizard is the holiest and most sacred Pokémon in the universe, do not pledge fealty to that false idol Arceus. He is the Lord and Savior of the Galar Region, and created this world of men and Pokébeasts, also He is undefeated and unbeatable. He is a Fire/Flying type who resembles a "dragon", but to call Him such is to sully His name, as dragons are in fact grotesque mockeries of Charizard created to spite Him.
Charizard has many disciples. By far His first and foremost is Leon, His prophet, the undefeated Champion of the Galar Region, who is also unbeatable and is pants with directions. But Leon is not infallible, as he is pants with directions. As such, Leon relies on Charizard for guidance, and gets lost easily, because he is pants with directions, but his pants point in the direction of Charizard. For this reason, Charizard's second most trusted disciple is Pokémon Trainer, His vicar who is simultaneously male and female and every age and gender. Pokémon Trainer's true name is only pronounceable by Charizard Himself (hence why they are unnamed in Smash), but the forms that they use to interact with fighters in the World of Imagination are colloquially known as "Red" and "Leaf". Charizard lends His power to Pokémon Trainer, who also works with two of His reformed archangels, Squirtle and Ivysaur, who smite nonbelievers to prepare them to be met with judgment by the Zard Almighty Himself.
According to Galarian doctrine, it must be remembered at every second of every day that Charizard is the Lord and Savior and is unbeatable, and His prophet Leon is the undefeated champion of the Galar Region, and both of them are undefeated and unbeatable. Devout Galarians must therefore remind themselves, and each other, and the uninitiated masses of this at every single moment possible, for only then will Charizard grant them eternal fiery bliss.
Among the blasphemous heathens, Charizard is most infamous for His very strict policy on which Pokémon are allowed to enter His sacred dominion of Galar. This is because only species that have accepted Charizard as their Lord and Savior are allowed to exist within. When records of Leon's great journey as Champion were made in the form of the Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield video games, the developers asserted that obeying Charizard's will in this manner would allow for "higher quality animations", all of which were given to Charizard because He is more deserving of such an honor than any other Pokémon in the universe.
The Ten Commandments of GalarEdit
To truly follow the teachings of Charizard, true Galarians must follow the Ten Commandments of their faith. They are so:
I. Charizard is the lord thy God, thou shalt not have any strange gods before Him, for they be barred from the Holy Land of Galar.
II. Thou shalt not take the name of the lord thy Charizard in vain, for He is undefeated and unbeatable.
III. There is no God but Charizard, and Leon is His only prophet.
IV. Leon is the Champion of the Galar Region, and he is also undefeated and unbeatable, for Charizard has bestowed His divine fiery blessing unto His only prophet.
V. Thou shalt not perform any strange rituals in the name of the Holy Charizard other than Dynamaxing, for it makes Him undefeated and unbeatable, just like His prophet and champion Leon, who is 33 years old and also undefeated and unbeatable.
VI. Thou shalt not take heed of any directions unless the Lord thy Charizard doth speak unto you "RARRRGH", for there be sinners to lead you astray, and Leon is pants with directions because only Charizard doth be the one to give him the right directions, and He is also undefeated and unbeatable, and Leon is also undefeated and unbeatable, and is the Champion of the Galar Region.
VII. Thou shalt deny entry to any Pokémon into the Holy Land of Galar if our Almighty Lord thy Charizard wills it, for He and His prophet Leon are undefeated and unbeatable.
VIII. Thou shalt not pledge loyalty to any starter Pokémon besides Charizard, for He is undefeated and unbeatable. Worship of the false idol Blastoise doth be an unforgivable sin, for Blastoise is defeated and beatable.
IX. Thou shalt recall that our Lord thy Charizard is unbeatable and undefeated.
X. Thou shalt recall that Leon is the only prophet of our Lord thy Charizard, and that he is the Champion of the Galar region, and that he is 33 years old, and that Hop is his brother, and that he is bad with directions.
May you have a champion time. Amen.
How Charizard Created the Galar Region and the UniverseEdit
In the beginning when Charizard created the heavens and the Earth, the Earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while embers from Charizard swept over the face of the waters.
Then Charizard said "RAAAARRRRGHHHHH,"; and His flaming tail shone with the light of a million beacons, and there was light.
And Charizard saw that the light was good, and Charizard separated the light from the darkness. Light became Day, and darkness became Night.
And Charizard said "GROAAARRRRR," and the cosmic dust around Him coalesced into two small ethereal beings, which rapidly grew, first into a pair of eyes, then into two Pokémon. Their names were Solgaleo and Lunala, and they were not as holy as Charizard, as they were beatable and defeatable. But lo, Charizard saw that they were good, and He allowed them entry into His new world upon request. From the scorching heavens, Charizard tasked Solgaleo with dominion over Day, and Lunala over Night, and it was a champion time.
And Charizard said "BLARRRRGHHHHHHH," and all the vile waters shriveled and shrunk until there was enough land and sky for Him to assert His supreme dominance, as He is unbeatable and undefeated.
The sky was formed by an infinite dome, extending indefinitely. From there, Charizard breathed His sacred flames all over the sky, creating the Flying-type Pokémon over which He rules, and it was a champion time.
Suddenly, one of them, a vile serpent known as Rayquaza, sought to usurp Charizard's ultimate dominion, for it desired to be undefeated and unbeatable without acquiring His fiery blessing. "EYAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Rayquaza said as it rained vile meteors down from the sky onto Charizard. But they were no match for Charizard Almighty, and He cast Rayquaza into the depths of Hoenn, land of too much water.
And lo, Rayquaza was tasked with babysitting Charizard's misbehaved toddler children, Groudon and Kyogre. And it was a champion time for everyone, except Rayquaza. In retaliation, Rayquaza spewed its dragon breath all over the land, creating the blasphemous Dragon-type Pokémon designed to mock Charizard's very image and make Him look beatable and defeatable, even though that is clearly not the case, for Charizard Almighty is undefeated and unbeatable.
Then Charizard said "GRARRRRGHHHHHHH," and He spewed His almighty flames all over the land. His divine breath brought forth all the terrestrial Pokémon. But lo, there were many Pokémon He deemed unruly, for they brought unholy rocks into His domain. And so, Charizard cast out the heathen Rock-type Pokémon with a flick of His claw.
The Rock Pokémon died, and coalesced into a large landmass. Charizard let out another mighty roar, and blessed the land with His divine presence. The landmass was to be known as the Holy Nation of Galar, and it was champion.
So Charizard spent thousands of years lovingly hallowing His new creation. But then, darkness struck. A great serpent, known as Eternatus, appeared upon the land, and lo, all of Charizard's wonderful Pokémon began massively growing in size and wreaking havoc, starting the Darkest Day. Eternatus was Rayquaza's child, and it brought with it all the vile Dragon-types designed to make Charizard feel defeated and beatable, which is not true, for He is undefeated and unbeatable.
Charizard then said "GRURRRGHHHHH!!!!!" as He grew to massive size, becoming the first Gigantamax Pokémon in existence. He vanquished Eternatus with His mighty G-Max Wildfire, and all was good.
From the smoldering ashes of Eternatus, a new being arose. His name was Leon, the first human, and he was a champion example of a perfect specimen. Quoth Leon, "Hello, Charizard! Thank You for creating me. I wish to join forces with You, and together we shall be undefeated and unbeatable."
And so Charizard replied "RAARRRRRGHHHHHH!!!", and He imbued upon Leon His divine fiery blessing, and together the two of them were undefeated and unbeatable. Leon became Charizard's prophet, and was to become the undefeated and unbeatable Champion of the Galar Region. But as Leon was a newly created being, he was pants with directions.
And so Leon prayed unto Charizard, "O Charizard Almighty, grant me Your divine burning guidance, for I am pants with directions and will have no idea how to guide my fellow men when they come into the world."
And Charizard said "GROARRRGHHHH," and it was good. Charizard then unleashed more flames upon the land, crumbling all the Pokémon He didn't like into ash and creating more human beings from the ashes. Leon was to lead them as their undefeated and unbeatable Champion, but since he was pants with directions, he would rely on Charizard for them, for Charizard was also undefeated and unbeatable. And thus the Holy Land of Galar was created, and all was champion.
A selection of images from the Galarian Bible.
Is He A Dragon?Edit
There are those who believe that Charizard is a Dragon. This is not true, as He is a Fire/Flying type, the most sacred of type combinations (hence why Ho-Oh, a disciple of Charizard, is able to use Sacred Fire, and Talonflame, another disciple, had been blessed with great power upon its creation by the Zard Almighty). In fact, Dragon Pokémon are mockeries of Charizard that were created by the fell serpent Rayquaza, who was one of the many Flying Pokémon created by our Lord and Savior, but was cast out into Hoenn, the realm of 7.8 too much water, for attempting to usurp the Lord thy Charizard and defy His status of being undefeated and unbeatable. In retaliation, Rayquaza created the Dragon Pokémon, which were vile beasts meant as grotesque mockeries of Charizard.
This also extends into Smash Bros., that series of tournaments in the Realm of Imagination, where Ridley is a highly blasphemous beast who exists as a grotesque caricature of Charizard, and as such, is so evil that he enjoyed killing the parents of an innocent girl who was later unknowingly blessed by Charizard to become a powerful being (and continues to be unaware of Charizard's blessing), as evidenced by her Charizard-colored armor which grants her protection from His almighty fire and other forms of heat.
Corrin, the dragon-demon of Fate, is also an enemy of Charizard. They are the hellish spawn of a human, Queen Mikoto, and one of Rayquaza's fell dragon offspring, Anankos. Like Pokémon Trainer, they are every single gender at once but take male and female forms to interact in the World of Imagination, and they use the water element because it is one of the things Charizard hates the most, as it is the opposite of His sacred flames that make Him undefeated and unbeatable. Corrin seduces others into joining their cause and straying away from the path of Charizard, but much of the Smash and Nintendo community rejected Corrin's temptation and pointed them out as the blasphemous evil that they are, for they are true believers in Charizard and His undefeatability and unbeatability, as well as Leon's undefeatability and unbeatability despite his being pants with directions.
The powers that be claim that Charizard is indeed in fact inspired by dragons. Do not listen to these heathens, as calling Him a dragon is to sully His name.
Write your name here if you love Pimpizard.
- If you compare Ike to Charizard and his fanbase to genwunners, Ike fans tend to get butthurt.
- Stereotypical genwunners tend to overrate Charizard's strength and badassery to 2007 Chuck Norris levels. This means that they are true believers and shall be blessed by Zard almighty.
- Because the Realm of Imagination is filled with heathens who do not believe in Charizard and mocked Him into the lowest of tiers, He called upon His vicar, Pokémon Trainer, to return in the Ultimate Tournament, for they would work together with His newly converted disciples Squirtle and Ivysaur to smite all the nonbelievers, and His prophet Leon could not find his way for he is pants with directions.
- Even though Charizard is undefeated and unbeatable, the only being in the universe that can defeat Him is Ryujjy, the fused form of Ryuji Sakamoto and Norville "Shaggy" Rogers. For this reason, while Shaggy is too powerful to be banned from anything in any way, shape or form, Charizard has banned the Phantom Thieves of Hearts from entering the Galar region in any capacity. This ensures that Charizard, blessed be His name, remains undefeated and unbeatable, and His prophet Leon, who is also the region's Champion, remains undefeated and unbeatable as well. Also, Leon is pants with directions.