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Because Matt was tired, he wanted someone to read him a story. Since Miko was the only one there, he wanted her to read him the story of Goldilocks but with smash characters.

Contents of the story

  • Swears
  • Confusing shit
  • Poop
  • Meth usage
  • Rosalina Abuse
  • Blood

The story

One day there was a bitch nicknamed goldilocks. But her real name was Rosalina. She got lost in a forrest due to loosing her meth hallucination of a star, and she found a, what seemed to be empty cottage. But the truth is a family was living there. There was Papa Falcon, Mama Marth and Baby Lucina. They left the cottage to go for a walk, and for some reason, they forgot to lock the door, so Rosalina walked right in.

She found porridge. But due to her picky tastes of only liking things that taste like honey, she only ate all of the small one. After she was full, she had to take a shit.

She ran to the bathroom and found 3 toilets. One of them was too big for her flat ass. The second was too solid for it, so the potty had to do. She then proceeded to shit in the potty. It was a big shit. It was so big in fact that it broke the potty. She then wiped her ass and went upstairs to find a bed to rest her ass on cuz her ass hurt after pooping out an almost baby sized shit… Or maybe it wasn’t a shit at all but an ass baby? Well, she didn’t want to check.

She found beds. The first one was to solid, the second one was too soft. She sinked into it when he got on top of it, so the tiny bed had to do.

When the family came home, Papa Falcon threw a fit of rage. Mama Marth screamed at the horror of what happened to the poor porridge and Baby Lucina just cried because she was hungry. Or was she?

Actually, she needed to poop.

So Mama marth took her to the bathroom, and Mama Marth screamed in horror at the sight of shit all over the floor.

Papa Falcon then ran upstairs and saw Rosalina. He charged up a punch and punched her face so hard that she swallowed all her teeth. Rosalina started yelling but no one could understand her due to lack of teeth, and because the meth effects still weren’t over. Baby Lucina then bit her leg. Rosalina screamed in pain as a river of blood gushed out of the bite mark. Mama Marth then did a critical hit on Rosalina, sending her flying out of the house.

The End

Moral of the story: Don’t do meth

Bonus stuff

  • Mikokiri used Rosalina because it was a good excuse for rosalina abuse
  • Lucina was the baby cuz she is a baby in the present
  • Marth was the mother because blue hair.
  • Ike was not used as the father because too obvs.
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