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Mach Rider (A.K.A. Captain Motorcycle, A.K.A. Grey Excitebike Racer, A.K.A. Super-cool) is a hard-working parent and just about the coolest dang person you'll ever meet. After not having a new game for so long, they had to get a job working minimum wage at Popeyes. Sure, they got residual checks from Nintendo's Virtual Console, but never enough to support their stay-at-home husband and daughter. Whatever money they had, they took to the bar to drown their sorrows in vodka.

The night prior to the Grinch's arrival, they were blackout drunk, so when they heard of the Grinch Leak, they began to wonder, "Am I really in Smash Bros?" Their husband, (redacted) warned them, saying that it was probably a prank, but they weren't willing to take the risk. They hopped on their motorcycle for the first time in almost 30 years, and made their way to the battlefield.

When Kencineroar was revealed, disproving the Grinch Leak, they had no way to know that they were not playable. Then, Galeem's light shone across the universe, and eventually reached Mach Rider, transforming them into a spirit.

This May or may not be Mach Rider.


A motorcycle with a humanoid growth.

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